Mama Vacay

That's right, I went on vacation BY MYSELF!  It was amazing, something I wondered if I would ever do again now that I'm married and have kids.  I had to keep my guilt at bay and just go with my selfishness on this one, and it was worth it! 

My friend lives in Colorado, and there are actually flights from Milwaukee to Denver for pretty cheap, so when Brendan was gone traveling for a whole week last month, I bought tickets for a weekend away.  I flew out Friday night and came home Monday afternoon.  Three days of being alone, sleeping in and seeing the mountains! 

It was so fun to hang out with my dear old friend.  She doesn't have kids so it was like a glimpse into my old life, where you could sleep in on a weekend if you felt like it.  Where you can go out to eat at 8:30pm on a Friday like it's no big deal!  Where you can go for a drive and jump out any ol' place you want without having to unbuckle and rebuckle kids in the car seats.  It was...AMAZING.  I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but oh how much fun life would be without them for a weekend here or there. 

Now I'm begging Brendan to get a job at NREL, the renewable energy lab in Golden, so we can move out there and be by mountains all the time.  Every time I'm by the mountains I think I must live in them sometime in my life.  Why not now?? Make it happen, B!

Fabric shopping, of course.

Poor sad Ingrid.

MOUNTAINS!

Some rich lady bought this ski resort so her kids could practice for competitions.  Must be nice.



Driving to Boulder

 

And now, I'm home.  Like I said, I love my kids, but damn it was nice to get away. 

Turning Off the TV

I always wanted to be one of those moms that never turned on the TV, but early on I realized I could get shit done with a half hour here or there!  Sometimes we watch a lot, some days we don't even think about turning it on.  Some days we just get lazy and tired and only want to lay on the couch and veg.  Usually I don't pay attention, they all seem to balance out and we never have problems with turning it off and switching to something else.  Once the credits come on, one of the kids pops up and turns off the TV. 

However...this week has been rainy and Otis got hand foot and mouth disease so we were quarantined at our house so we wouldn't infect anyone else.  I have a show coming up July 7 and I've been trying to finish up the last few things I have to get ready.  The house seems like it's constantly sticky and hairy from the humidity and the dog, laundry piles up.  Excuses, I know.  But the TV was on a lot the past few days.  And there was tons of whining and fighting between the kids about who gets to watch what show, and then kicking each other on the couch or stealing pillows.  it was INSANE.  Get off each other and just sit there while I get the bathroom cleaned!  Please!

Two days ago I don't know what started it, but I did not turn on the TV.  Instead we did a puzzle together.  We read library books.  We colored.  We played outside a bit between bouts of rain.  I had the best time!  I was happy, not yelling, the kids were so good together, not whining or fighting.  The day was just so awesome, I finally remembered how great it is to be a stay at home mom.  Some days I forget why the hell I do this, like how great it would be to get a job and let the kids go to school and a babysitters and just be around adults all day.  Go to the bathroom by myself, eat a whole meal, shower DAILY! 

Yesterday we ran errands all morning.  Kids slept in the car a bit so when we got home I was exhausted and wanted to sit.  I put on the TV and immediately (immediately, ugh.) they started fighting over what show to watch.  Ingrid just lost it because I let Otis get his way for once.  Huge tears, stomping feet, kicking things.  It was the shittiest afternoon, I just could not turn it around.

So today I said no more TV in the day!  We've got so many fun things to do around here, let's play!  Ingrid has been working on these little stuffed hearts she's been sewing from my scraps and she wanted to work on those.  We painted.  More puzzles, more time outside before the rain came.  Another wonderful morning!  Just so much fun and everyone was in great moods.  The afternoon was naptime and more playing, this time with neighbors outside when it cleared up.  Everyone was in good moods until bedtime, I mean for real, that never happens! 

I know it just takes more effort on my part, and honestly, I don't get much done during the day.  I did get some things done but not nearly as much as if I'd ignored my children, haha!  I guess that I just have to do what I can, and do the rest after bedtime.  I'd much rather have happy kids than 30 more bibs done, right?  They'll both be in school next fall so I should enjoy this summer as much as I can!

Broads with Bunnies

When I moved back to Milwaukee a couple years ago, I started a Facebook group for local moms, called Broads with Babies.  It was originally intended to be a way to get together for play dates.  Little by little it grew, and now it's at 700 some moms!  Obviously we don't all get together, but there is a good core group that is always on there, and it's nice to have a place to ask a question and get some good answers.  Don't know about you, but I usually hate online mom's groups.  People get so judgy and bitchy!  Luckily these ladies are pretty rad and no one gets too preachy.  So far it's been a good experience, and I've met a lot of new friends through there!

Anyway, yesterday I had two baskets full of stuffed bunnies I'd finished.  I thought "boy, I sure don't want to have any of these things left like I did last year.  God knows we don't need more stuffed animals in our house."  So I posted a picture on my Broads with Babies group, seeing if anyone wanted one. 

Within a few hours I had sold all of them!  And now I have a list of orders to make more!  And people had gone to my etsy shop and asked to buy bibs, too.  It was completely overwhelming! 

I am so thankful that I can sit here in my basement with lovely fabric and sew things people actually want.  I am so thankful that Otis will sit here with me and let me do this.  I am so thankful I get to buy more fabric when I want, lol!  Today is a good day, despite the 5" of snow that is supposed to fall.

Falls Past

Ingrid as a baby. Awww.

Ingrid as a toddler.  Sweet.

Me with Otis in my belly.  (Hard to imagine he was born a few short weeks after this!)

Otis a smiley little redhead.

My kids.

Fall is my favorite!

My Weekend Alone. And then Labor Day Crazies.

Saturday morning Brendan took both kids with him to the cottage.  I stayed home.  I seriously felt like this:

I had SO MUCH FUN being by myself.  I went to the bathroom alone, I finished my own food without anyone coming up asking for a bite.  I cleaned my house and it stayed clean.  It was amazing.  I rearranged furniture in the living room and Ingrid's room.  I made the kids new buntings for their rooms.  I came to the realization that I will never paint Ingrid's room, so I may as well just deal with the green since her stuff goes.

 My days were so relaxing.  I could read, watch whatever TV I wanted.  I went to the antique shop, I had dinner and drinks with a friend, I took naps whenever I wanted.  It was so nice to catch up on me.  I hate when people talk "me time" but for real, after dealing with kids nonstop for days on end, it was really quite nice to remember I used to love reading on the couch in a cleaned living room, and that a bowl of Ben and Jerry's is a nice way to end the day.  (Okay, I admit, there was no bowl, it was right out of the carton...)

And then they came home.  I was immediately put back into my place as mom, doer/cleaner/helper/fixer.  No more relaxer.  They are so lucky they are cute, they don't even know!  We had friends over for Labor Day and cooked out and ran around in a sprinkler and tried to stay cool on the hot humid day.  It was super fun.  Otis did not want me taking pictures, but I thought this was a good representation of how crabby he can be.  He was yelling at me not to take his picture.  HA!

And now we have one more day until Ingrid starts school and we have no more slow paced mornings, where we have to be out the door by 7:30 instead of getting to lay around in our pjs.  Bummer.

Homeschooling After All

Ingrid is home right now, playing with fabric and her stuffed animals.  We just did puzzles together and read in bed while Otis is napping.  She's not sick, it's not a day off.  We just didn't send her back to school after the holiday break.  I couldn't be happier.

The past month or so has been very trying.  Lots of temper tantrums and crying, lots and lots of yelling on all of our parts.  I felt a real disconnect and was just not happy.  I didn't understand why my daughter was acting out, why our house felt so stressful, why my life felt like nothing was getting done. 

And then we had the holiday break, and after our travels to MI and the kids getting over sickness (more or less) things calmed down.  We had our nice slow mornings of coffee, breakfast, playing, reading, games, and happiness.  Otis' naptime was time for Ingrid and I to spend together, or for her to have rest time and me to get things done.  There was peace in the house, there were so few temper tantrums I've almost forgotten how horrible they were.  Tears are still there sometimes, but only when it's time to eat or rest. 

So when school started back up again, we just decided not to send her back.  Instead, we painted.

And then threw the kids in the bath with some shaving cream to "paint" with.

And did more puzzles.

And went to story time, which Otis LOVED!  He thought singing songs and clapping hands was pretty okay. 

We'll try again in the fall, but if it gets back to being that stressful, forget it.  I used to wonder if I could be a homeschooler, if I had the patience, or could follow through with it, but now I know I can do it if it's what's right for us.

New Year's Eve, Mom Style

We had such a great New Year's Eve this year, and we didn't leave our house!  The kids took naps until five pm, so they were ready to stay up and party.  I walked over to Walgreens to get snacks and came home with some noisemakers, carmel corn, Dots, Pringles, and chocolate covered peanuts.  Which we ate all of that night!  Ingrid thought it was so cool to be allowed to stay up, and she did so well, too.  Otis was in bed at the normal time, which gave us plenty of one on one time with the girl.  We had pjs on, sleeping bags and pillows all over the floor, and we just hung out.  Junk food, tv, games on the ipad, just hanging out together.  Much better than spending a ton of money at a bar getting drunk and then coming home to crash in your smelly clothes.  Seriously.

Sickly

Today Otis was not having a good day.  He was all snotty, cried at the drop of a hat (which is really unlike him) and just did not feel well.  I was so tired by the afternoon, all I wanted to do was take a nap.  Ingrid went to sleep right away.  Otis, however, got a second wind as I changed his diaper.  He was blowing raspberries, kicking his legs, yelling and screeching.  Good lord.

I worked on him, though, fed him and rocked him and sang to him, and lo and behold he fell asleep.  I got up gently, put him in his crib ever so softly, where he stiffened out and started screaming at the top of his lungs.  So I got him back in my arms, he immediately calmed down again, we rocked and he was snoring wee baby snores.  Again, go put him in his crib and he freaked out. 

*sigh*

It was one of those afternoons.  I even tried to lay down with him in my bed but he was not having it.  So after two hours of this b.s. we went back into the living room.  He sat on his blanket with his toys and looked up at me with the saddest teary-eyed, snotty nosed face and I just had to take pictures.  My poor sickly.  Hopefully he'll sleep well tonight and take naps tomorrow. 

Our Weekend

This past weekend we went to the cottage for the first time of the season!!  That is one of my favorite things, it really means summer is coming.  I can imagine it being so hot and sticky you need the ten fans that are now sitting dormant.  I can imagine the kids screeching at the park that now sits still.  I can imagine the waves lapping up against the old metal slide that now sits on the beach instead of in the water. 

It was Otis' first time going, which meant that we needed to add him to the door.  We did a lot of going to the park, playing with toys, trying to relax.  It was fun.

We got home Sunday morning, Brendan made me French toast, I got to sit and sew for awhile, and then after lunch was cake!  Of course!  I would love a mani/pedi for Mother's Day, but cake is a close runner up. 

Another treat on Mother's Day was that Brendan finally wore the Moby and found out how nice it is to be hands free while Otis sleeps.  I love a man in a baby carrier.

Holy Crap, I Have Two Kids!

Yep, I have two kids.  It hit me yesterday when I told a friend I was chatting with that I had to go get "the kids" ready for their baths.  The kids.  Not just Ingrid, the kids.  Wow.

I love it!  Yesterday I was a complete multitasker, nursing Otis in my arms while sweeping up a mess Ingrid had made.  And the picture above is from story time before putting the kids to bed.  Every day seems to get easier, and I'm happier than I ever could have imagined.

Before we decided on having another baby, I worried a lot about what that would mean for Ingrid.  Would she get enough attention?  Would she feel left out?  Would that take away certain opportunities for her?  And now I know, the girl gets plenty of attention, she doesn't feel left out because we include her in everything, and yes, she's going to miss out on some opportunities, but the new family dynamic seems so worth it.  We may not get to travel when and where we would without another baby, but we only travel twice a year, the rest of the year we're at home.  And our home life is so much more amazing with Otis in it!

When I had Ingrid I was bound and determined not to have another.  I got rid of all her baby stuff as soon as she was out of it.  I dreamed of when she'd get bigger and we could travel all over with her and show her the world.  I never ever ever wanted to be pregnant again.  And now here I am, a month out of having a crazy ride having number two, and I'm already thinking I'm not done having kids.  WTF?? 

Brendan says I can't because I'm a bitch when I'm pregnant, and I agree.  Pregnancy is not my forte.  But motherhood IS, so unless we adopt, which isn't out of the picture, I have to get knocked up one more time to have one more babe.  Only one more time, honey, I swear!   Who can blame me, my kids are great, why wouldn't I want another one?