Serenity NOW.

I keep that as my half-joking mantra these days!  Sometimes it helps, lol.  Things have been going okay here but still kind of crazy.  Ingrid has been a little better about school because we've been drawing smiley faces on our hands and she can look down and see it during the day.  Today we forgot and she kind of lost it at the door of school and cried.  Which is when I scream SERENITY NOW!

Otis is loving school and has no issues with it.  I only have to yell serenity now with him when he is throwing his massive tantrums, which could be about anything.  Seriously, this morning it was about waffles.  First he wanted waffles, but when he got them out of the freezer he freaked out that they had a bite taken out of them.  Um, no they don't.  Cue the screaming.  He was convinced they had a bite taken out of them!  I opened a new box and he was mad I opened them.  I asked him to take out the ones he wanted, he said no.  I went to get them myself and he screamed he wanted to.  I handed him the box and he just threw it on the floor.  SERENITY NOW! 

But life is good.  I have Gallery Night on Friday, we have a sitter, so we'll get to hang out in a bar and I'll sell baby goods while drinking beer.  God bless Milwaukee!!  I'm busy getting ready for the holiday season, I have two shows coming up.  Urban Garage Sale is in November, Hover Craft is in December.  So exciting!

Four Months!

Man, the second kid sure does get forgotten sometimes.  Otis turned four months old FOUR DAYS ago and I'm just getting around to posting it??  Bad mommy.  I posted Ingrid's on the day...

Otis is doing well, he started to giggle and loves to smile and coo.  He loves his sister, and it's super sweet to see her interact with him.  The other morning he was in our bed sleeping and I hear her go in and jump on the bed.  "Hi, little peanut butter!  Are you waking up now?"  It's funny because whatever I say to him she says too.  So he's the Bub, Peanut Butter, Punkin Pie, etc.  Which all sounds cuter coming from an almost three year old's mouth.

We put him in the Moby facing forward yesterday.  He loved it!  It doesn't look like it here, but really, he dug it. Such a big boy.

Last night we had a major MAJOR meltdown from Ingrid.  Usually I do all the bedtime routines but I have had it!  I just want to be able to relax for ten minutes after a long day, not deal with both kids and their bedtimes.  So...it was Daddy's turn last night.  This did not settle well with Ingrid.  She was sassy!  Telling Brendan no indeed he was NOT going to put her to bed, not listening, running away from him.  So finally after a half hour of this bullshit I went in and said okay, enough, no books, good night.  Oh my god, she lost it!  We've only done that one other time and it was the same thing--screaming and crying so hard she was hyperventilating, it went on forever, she couldn't calm down.  Tough night.  I finally went in and rubbed her back until she calmed down and she passed out in seconds. 

Meanwhile...what was Otis doing?

Snoozing away like World War III wasn't going on in the other room.  Good boy.

Is That the SUN??

Yesterday we saw a brilliant bright thing in the sky.  Gasp!  It was the sun!  And it was gorgeous!  We ran outside to take advantage of this rare sighting in the midst of February.  It felt SO GOOD to get outside again!  I wrapped a sweater around Otis in the Ergo, Ingrid had her boots and hat on, and we set out to splash in puddles and flick snow around with a stick. 

Things are a crazy mess around here right now.  We have a few days left until we move, so most things are packed away.  Ingrid is getting a little freaked out and showing her unease by peeing her pants, whining, and throwing massive tantrums.  We're trying to be understanding, but it is so hard when we are also getting zero sleep because of a snorting baby not sleeping well at night.

I have been feeling SUPER bad about Ingrid's life lately, and I can't wait to get her settled.  Since Thanksgiving this poor kid has gone through so much.  First I was in the hospital for almost a month, then she got a new brother, then we started packing up all her toys to move to a new house.  So much change for such a peanut...It's the least I can do to try not to yell at her for being whiny.  She's got a lot on her mind and no way to express it.  Let me tell you, I will breathe a HUGE sigh of relief to be in our new place, finally settled and not going anywhere!  Let our life begin!

Hanging Out, Being Crabby.

It's been snowy and gross around these parts lately.  It makes me want to cozy up inside and not go anywhere, but I think that's getting to Ingrid.  She wants to play and move and I want to sit on the couch and read or just look at Otis. 

Ingrid has been doing well with having a brother, but just the past few days it seems like it's hitting her that she isn't the only one.  I'm not sure why, it's been over a month since we've had Otis, but just recently she has started acting out in a major way!  Lots of power struggles, lots of demanding we do things for her, lots of not listening.  I'm trying to be patient but it's hard.  REALLY HARD.  Especially when it's already been a long day and I'm alone with both kids and downstairs feeding Otis and she screams that she needs me to help get her water bottle that is right by her bed.  And when I call up the stairs that she can get it herself, she starts to cry "Mama, you don't have to yell at me!" 

Sigh...

Anyway, today was fun even though we had a couple rough patches.  I got her wings to stay (ribbon tied at her shoulders!) and she wore her new dress around and played with her fire truck.  I laid Otis on the floor and we sang songs to him.  It's so interesting to see him wide eyed and awake, he is really starting to act like a normal baby.

Hopefully soon I'll feel like getting out of the house again and we'll be able to go play with her friends.  And hopefully soon Otis will sleep more at night and I won't be so tired during the day!

New Clothes

Yesterday I finally got my ass in gear to sew again!  I told Ingrid right before I ended up in the hospital that I would make her a pair of new cozy pants.  And since I've been home she keeps asking me when I'm going to make them...So I did yesterday and then what do you know, they are enormous and won't fit for another year.  Oops. 

Otis' fit him, though.  Do you know how hard it is to make newborn pants??  Their inseam is like three inches!  I cut these out based on a pair of pants I'd make my Cabbage Patch doll that Ingrid plays with.  No joke, my kid wears doll clothes...

We got a package in the mail from my brother and his family yesterday.  Guess what was in it for Ingrid?!  She gasped "ooh, a tooth fairy dress!"  There are wings as well but I have to come up with something to keep them on, they kept falling off.

Ingrid threw the world's biggest tantrum last night, it was amazing.  Brendan was trying to get her pjs on and she kept kicking him.  We told her no books before bed if she kept doing it.  She kept kicking, we said no books, and she lost it.  LOST IT!  Screaming, crying, stomping her feet, hitting the walls, you name it, she did it to show how pissed she was.  It's really the first tantrum we've had, usually she lets it go pretty easily.  But last night she kept carrying on for over an hour!  I put her in bed, she jumped up screaming about books.  She finally calmed down for awhile and then twenty minutes later she'd start crying about books again.  One am and she wakes up crying for books.  I hope that lesson will stick with her!  It was not a pleasant thing to go through, and I totally see why parents cave in and just give the kid what they want...

32 Weeks, 5 Days

Yes, folks, I have made it to almost 33 weeks!!  And I'm still here in the hospital.  I have been reading, eating, sleeping, and watching TV.  Brendan usually visits for lunch and my mom has been bringing Ingrid over in the afternoon, so I'm feeling good.  I have made approximately 509 felt garlands (give or take 500) and my blanket is covered in tiny felt scraps and crumbs from when Ingrid comes to visit.

Otis is doing so well, his heart rate is where it's supposed to be, he moves a lot, and the little stinker is showing a personality--every single time they put the monitor on he kicks it off.  My 5:30 am non-stress tests are so fun because he refuses to be caught on the monitor so it's a constant struggle to get him to stay in one place long enough for them to get a good look at his heart tones.  I am so excited to meet him!!

Last night on one of the hospital TV channels they had a very outdated but informative video of what it's like in the NICU.  They showed a teeny baby that had to have been super early and only 2lbs or so.  It made me thankful that I am past that really scary stage and the doctors feel Otis will be big and strong enough to make the transition from womb to real life without a lot of problems.  I sure hope so! 

The plan as of now is that a week from Sunday, when I'm 34 weeks, I will be induced.  Which means we'll have a December 19/20 baby instead of a January 30 baby.  Little guy wanted to make sure he was here for Christmas and that we got our tax break this year instead of next!  Thanks, Otis. 

I am a bit worried about Ingrid's reaction to everything.  She seems fine but yesterday when she was visiting she had a little episode.  She stomped on my feet, I told her it hurt, asked her to apologize.  She did, then went directly to my mom and stomped on her feet, looking at me the whole time like "what're you gonna do about it, mom??"  I  tried to talk to her and make her sit on the chair and she just wouldn't listen and kept giving me these sly little looks of hers.  Totally acting out, letting me know she is NOT happy with how things are going right now and how disrupted her life has been.  It breaks my heart knowing she's going through something no one can control, but luckily she's young and won't remember this in a few months.  We'll get through it!

So that's that.  Another week in the hospital and then hopefully I can break out of here to be home for Christmas. 

Thanksgiving and Black Friday

Our Thanksgiving was...fine?  Or it would have been, had any of us been in a good mood.  Which none of us were.  Our day started with Ingrid getting up early and instantly being whiny and crying over everything.  It did not go uphill from there.  Since she doesn't nap anymore, if she's tired at 7:30am, she's just gonna be even more tired at 3pm.

The idea was that we would stay home, be cozy, eat lots of food, and relax.  The reality was that I was exhausted and begging for naps, Ingrid was throwing tantrums every five seconds, and Brendan was crabby because he just wanted to have a day off and watch football. 

We did manage to have a nice afternoon, with lots of good food and pumpkin pie that came out perfectly because I used canned stuff instead of trying to be fancy and cooking a real pumpkin like I did last year.  We were sufficiently stuffed, I got a good nap in, we tried to go for a walk in the rain to look at holiday lights that are already up in the neighborhood.  But none of us were feeling it.  Something was off...

Oh well, it's done.  And today was better.  I am not one for Black Friday, like EVER, I hate the idea of crowds and all that buying stuff no one needs.  You never really get that good of a deal anyway, and you have to fight people over it, or wait in line for hours, or whatever.  Just not my cup of tea.  BUT...Joann Fabric was having a sale on flannel and fleece, both of which I use a lot of in my sewing, for so cheap that I couldn't pass it up.  I woke up early anyway and decided to check it out. 

How naive of me to think I could just zip in and out!  Who really goes nuts at a fabric store on Black Friday?  Aren't they all at Target buying $2 Barbies or something?  Ha, how mistaken I was.  I got there around 6:30am and the place was packed.  I looked through the fabric, luckily I had a list to remind myself of what I needed, then I got in line for the cutting table. 

Fast forward TWO HOURS.  It was finally my freakin' turn.  Two effing hours for fabric, I must be crazy.  I did get some really good stuff and the bottom of my reciept said I saved $109, but really, two hours to wait for cutting fabric.  Never again, I don't care if they're giving away flannel!  I am just thankful I didn't try to lug Ingrid with me, oh my god.

When I got home I washed and dried and ironed all of the fabric I had gotten, all with a little help from my wee helper.  She loves doing laundry with me for some reason, it's awesome.  She played by herself a lot today, which was a nice change of pace.  Brendan and I got to do what we wanted to do.  It was what we wanted Thanksgiving to be, at least it only came one day late.  And now it's back to reality and hoping to hear something from Brendan's job interviews!!   

An Update

Things are going well around here.  Ingrid and I have gotten back into a nice rhythm again, having fun together and getting along instead of me yelling and her throwing tantrums.  They're still there, but much much less than in the past couple months!  Our days are so nice and mellow, I honestly feel so lucky to have this be my life.  We get up and eat a little here and there all morning, lounge in our pjs and color, play with play dough, play with her Fisher Price guys.  We get dressed and go to the park or to the store, we go to the library, we play some more. 

Naps are a thing of the past, I don't even try to have her rest anymore.  She just wouldn't do it, and instead of fighting her and getting pissed off every afternoon, I just put her in the rocking chair with her blanket and let her watch TV while I pass out on the couch.  And I refuse to feel guilty about it.  There is a part of me that wishes we were a family with no TV, or even watching less, but we are not that family.  We all like to just sit and veg sometimes.  And sometimes we don't.  We all like to read and learn things, too, so I'm not going to feel bad about the time we do spend watching TV.

I had my 16 week midwife appointment and am loving the office I go to.  We've met with three different midwives so far and I like each one.  The visits are so short and they are so not worried about anything that it puts me at ease.  I don't have to give a urine sample at each visit like I did at my last doctor, and they never ever question me if I decide against a test.  I hate when I have made a decision not to do something and the doctor questions me why.  Just coz, 'kay??  It's really nice to just go in and listen to a heartbeat and have them measure my uterus.  Even after the bleeding scare at 11 weeks they aren't too concerned, which is nice.  I don't want to be made to feel like I have to put my life on hold because I'm pregnant, or like I have to worry about every little thing.  It's awesome because I remember the doctor last time always saying be sure to stay away from XYZ, it's bad for you while you're pregnant.  Making me feel like if I ate a tunafish sandwich I'd be harming my baby beyond belief.  This time around it's "don't eat a pound of salami in one sitting and you should be okay."

We have our next ultrasound in two weeks, at which we hope to find out the gender.  We did with Ingrid and I loved it.  She was Ingrid within a week of finding out it was a girl.  When she was born we welcomed her into our lives but we already knew her, does that make sense?  We have a boy name picked out--Otis, after my greatgrandpa (really we just liked the name and then my mom told me it was my GG's and I thought oh, cool!)  But just like last time we have NO girl names!!  Any suggestions?  I'm not fretting too much now, as we may not even need one (something is making me think this is a boy.)  But any suggestions to go with Ingrid would be appreciated!

So there's that.  Life is good and simple and lovely around these parts.  As it should be.