My Due Date

My due date was yesterday.  It was very strange to think about going through the whole labor and delivery thing and just meeting Otis only yesterday!  It was very strange to think about having all seven or so squirmy pounds of him still inside!  I'm pretty glad we had him early, we got to have an extra six weeks with him.

Today we got some things at the consignment shop, and check out what I found--a little baptism outfit in perfect condition!!  The tag looks vintagey, too, but I don't know, it's so white and crisp, it can't be that old.  I think it will be adorable when we finally get around to having Otis' baptism!

Welcome, Otis!

He's here!! 

He was born Thursday December 16, 2010 at 5:48pm.  He was 33 weeks 4 days and weighs in at 4lbs 14 oz, 17 inches long.  Those are his stats, here's my story.

Wednesday I woke up having contractions.  They went on and off all day long, and when I woke up Thursday they were back.  When they checked me on Wednesday I was 2cm, when they checked on Thursday morning I was 4cm.  So...I was making progress but nothing was regular so they decided to give me a little pitocin to get things moving, much like what happened with Ingrid.  I started Pitocin at 8:30am and then my contractions...stopped.  They didn't really pick up again until after eleven.  I handled them pretty well with breathing, but because I was strapped down to the bed with all kinds of monitors I couldn't get comfortable.  I kinda hate the clinical setting of a high risk labor and delivery floor.

Then things really picked up and it started to HURT, so I opted to get an epidural.  Ahhh, bliss.  The relief from all that pain is really great, and I wish I could be all excited to not take drugs and stuff, but I'm not.  I liked both my epidurals!  Things got kind of crazy, Otis' heartbeat was irregular, they thought he probably had his cord around his neck (which he did) so they made me lie on my side.  I ended up with an IV of pitocin, my epidural, a blood pressure cuff on constantly, the pulse/ox thing on my finger, and monitors on my belly.  I jokingly said ahh, what else could I possibly have on me?  Then I found out--an internal monitor on Otis' scalp, a tube into the uterus to pump fluid since it was so low and they thought maybe the cord was being compressed, a catheter, and finally, an oxygen mask.  Oh my god, it was the most clinical hospital birth, the most opposite of what I had thought of having this time around! 

But everything went well and after a few hours I was feeling pressure, they checked me, I was 10cm, and I got rolled back to the OR.  Again, totally clinical!!  I had four male doctors down there (it's a teaching hospital so I always had four or five doctors in different phases of their schooling...) and two pregnant nurses by my side, and some doctors from the NICU, and finally Brendan.  He said he counted 12 people in the room.  So here I am sitting spread eagle in the stirrups having a baby and people kept coming in and out of the OR, the door to the hallway was open, it was definitely not a place for a modest person!  With three contractions I pushed that little guy out.

He did great right away.  No problems with breathing, he pinked up right away, and he was almost five pounds.  I got to have some skin to skin contact before they whisked him away to the NICU, which was more than I thought I'd get, so I was happy.

Once Otis was gone off to the NICU to warm up and get cozy, my fun started.  My placenta refused to come down so they had to manually remove it.  IT HURT.  People pushing down on my uterus, with hands up to my uterus trying to grab it.  Oh my god, and did I mention that because I had to lay on my side for Otis' heartbeat my epidural stopped working on one side?  And of course that's the side the placenta was on so I felt every single freakin' thing.  I'm more sore from that than I am from actually giving birth...Finally they got it to come out, and I got to go back to my room and relax and be totally amazed that I had just given birth to a little boy that I hadn't planned on meeting for six more weeks!

He is doing great.  Breathing's good, he gets his bloodwork tomorrow and will probably have to be under the blue lights for jaundice.  He has latched on and I got to give him my colostrum I'd pumped, but now there's nothing there.  I pump and pump and nothing.  Two drops maybe.  They tell me it's normal but it's hard to see empty bottles after pumping...Once he gains some weight and learns how to eat properly he can come home.  Until then, we visit in the NICU and spend as much time with him as we can. 

Ingrid got to meet him today:

She was excited to go see him, and then five seconds after we were in there, she wanted to leave.  We'll see how well she does over the next few days!  I'm home now so we'll be back and forth to the hospital but I won't have to sleep in an uncomfortable hospital bed anymore, yay!!  And pretty soon we'll be all together as a family and the real fun will begin :)

Baby Time.

Yesterday I started having contractions and was dilated to 2cm.  However, the contractions kept coming and going so they decided to put me on a little pitocin to make things a little more regular.  I'm at 4cm now and just started the pit.  So wish us luck today!!  Otis will be here soon!

Asking for Help

I'm almost there!  It's been over two weeks and the doctors are all set to induce me on Sunday, a mere five days away!  My stay in the hospital is almost done!

This week has been a bit crazy to figure out.  My mom, bless her heart, has watched Ingrid for the first two weeks but she needed a break.  So she went home and we called friends to see who could watch Ingrid during the day while Brendan works.  She went to her little buddy Ben's yesterday and today, and I felt bad about it the whole day yesterday!  It's hard for me to ask for help and then accept it.  And like I've said before, we never leave Ingrid with anyone but my mom, so I was nervous about how she'd be for a full day away from mom and dad.

She was fine, or so I hear.  She napped and played and was exhausted when she got home and went straight to bed.  Tomorrow and Thursday she's going with two other friends for the day.  All of these women are mothers that I trust, I've known them for two years now.  So why is it so hard for me, why do I think Ingrid's going to have a hard time??

I used to be a nanny, for god's sake, I know kids just get used to their surroundings, they manage to make it even if it's different.  Sure, they might miss mom or dad throughout the day but only fleetingly, then they forget about it and go play with toys that are new to them.  And Ingrid's a pretty strong little kid, I'm sure she's fine.  So why is my mind going to the worst case scenario of her looking all forlorn and wondering where her old life went to?

Maybe because that's what I'm feeling...where did my old life go?  Where I'd get up and make coffee and we'd play and do laundry and sew?  Instead of temp checks and blood pressure cuffs and listening to baby on the monitor and having doctors come in to ask if I'm having any troubles...I am feeling like a forlorn kid with her blankie wondering where her husband and daughter are.  I miss my life.

But the end is nigh.  Otis will be here before you know it, and I'll get to go home and then I'll be missing the naps and food delivered to me.  So I'll stop whining now.  And just be thankful for great friends that are helping me out when they certainly don't have to!!  Thanks guys!

32 Weeks, 5 Days

Yes, folks, I have made it to almost 33 weeks!!  And I'm still here in the hospital.  I have been reading, eating, sleeping, and watching TV.  Brendan usually visits for lunch and my mom has been bringing Ingrid over in the afternoon, so I'm feeling good.  I have made approximately 509 felt garlands (give or take 500) and my blanket is covered in tiny felt scraps and crumbs from when Ingrid comes to visit.

Otis is doing so well, his heart rate is where it's supposed to be, he moves a lot, and the little stinker is showing a personality--every single time they put the monitor on he kicks it off.  My 5:30 am non-stress tests are so fun because he refuses to be caught on the monitor so it's a constant struggle to get him to stay in one place long enough for them to get a good look at his heart tones.  I am so excited to meet him!!

Last night on one of the hospital TV channels they had a very outdated but informative video of what it's like in the NICU.  They showed a teeny baby that had to have been super early and only 2lbs or so.  It made me thankful that I am past that really scary stage and the doctors feel Otis will be big and strong enough to make the transition from womb to real life without a lot of problems.  I sure hope so! 

The plan as of now is that a week from Sunday, when I'm 34 weeks, I will be induced.  Which means we'll have a December 19/20 baby instead of a January 30 baby.  Little guy wanted to make sure he was here for Christmas and that we got our tax break this year instead of next!  Thanks, Otis. 

I am a bit worried about Ingrid's reaction to everything.  She seems fine but yesterday when she was visiting she had a little episode.  She stomped on my feet, I told her it hurt, asked her to apologize.  She did, then went directly to my mom and stomped on her feet, looking at me the whole time like "what're you gonna do about it, mom??"  I  tried to talk to her and make her sit on the chair and she just wouldn't listen and kept giving me these sly little looks of hers.  Totally acting out, letting me know she is NOT happy with how things are going right now and how disrupted her life has been.  It breaks my heart knowing she's going through something no one can control, but luckily she's young and won't remember this in a few months.  We'll get through it!

So that's that.  Another week in the hospital and then hopefully I can break out of here to be home for Christmas. 

Keeping Busy

Day five.  Things are good.  Not much new.  I'm bored.  I'm feeling lucky nothing major is going on and Otis is staying in.  I'm trying to get the doctors to let me go home to do bedrest.  I've heard different things but maybe they'll let me since I'm stable and have a couple weeks to go.  That would be awesome, as my shower this morning was about 2 seconds long since I couldn't get any hot water AT ALL.  Blah.

But...I'm keeping busy making felt garlands in my bed.  I had two reorders, people that liked them so much they needed another!  And since I have time on my hands I tried a star shaped garland, it turned out so cute.  Brendan said you cut those all out by hand?  And sewed them by hand?  How do you have the patience??  Isn't it funny how we each have our own things we love to do--I found it very calming and relaxing to do that last night as I watched TV.

I've also got some books, I'm reading Friday Night Knitting Club right now and it's keeping my attention.  Any other books that are light and not depressing or hard to read would be nice.  I only have a VCR in my room so I have to send Brendan to the library to see if he can find the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice on VHS.  Hello, Colin Firth, you can take up some of my time :)

That's about it.  We're hanging in there and keeping Otis growing and hoping to make it to 34 weeks.  The midwife told me today if we do make it to 34 wks we may be able to have a midwife deliver and not have to switch to the doctors.  Yay!  That would be great. 

An Update!

Otis is measuring in at 3.75 lbs and is still here in my belly.  I am off monitors for now, but I have to wear these crazy air pressure leg coverings that help ensure I don't get blood clots.  I woke up at 4:30am with contractions and had to have yet another ultrasound to make sure if I did go into labor, Otis was still head down.  Good boy, he is. 

I'm actually not freaking out, which is good.  I miss Ingrid (she's with gramma) and it's strange to see Brendan for short bursts of time before and after work, but I'm staying sane.  Ish.  I'm enjoying being taken care of, actually.  People are always asking me what they can get for me, I get to order room service meals whenever I want, and they have THE BEST chocolate layer cake here!!  I'll be gaining enough weight to get Otis up to five lbs before he's born :)

Thanks for the comments, it really makes my day.  I'm stuck here with no connection to the outside world until Brendan comes to visit with his computer, so it's nice to hear friendly things when I finally to get to connect. 

Change of Plans

Well, Otis is causing more ruckus...I woke up at 2am leaking.  TMI, sorry, but I was!  I waited to see if it really was my water breaking and sure enough, I soaked myself again.  The midwives told me to come right in, so at 2:30am we dragged Ingrid out of bed and brought her with us to the hospital.  She and Brendan only stayed for a bit, then went home until my mom could make it over to take over wee one duty. 

I'm exactly 31 weeks today, so it's not horrible but they'd like him to stay in for three more weeks.  Three weeks of me being on bedrest in the hospital.  Three weeks of me sitting around a hospital room with a view of a brick wall, no joke.  Three weeks of NOT SEWING!  I don't want Otis to be too early, but I also would not like to spend three weeks here.

I'm hooked up to monitors and he's doing fine, heart rate is good, they gave me meds to calm down the contractions.  It's wait and see.  My whole life is wait and see.  Like once he's born he's going in the NICU and we'll wait and see how he does.  He'll have to stay for awhile, and in the meantime Brendan's going to hear about job offers.  So we'll be planning a move, dealing with a preemie, and a 2 1/2 yr old.  Sounds fun, right?? 

Keep us in your thoughts, we'll be here.